


Δ you will, i know you will

by Kingmaker (smooshkin)



Category: Deus Ex (Video Games), Deus Ex: Human Revolution
Genre: Angst, Death, Drabble, Gen, Introspection, Pre-Canon, Regret, Stream of Consciousness, david's unnamed father is dying, pre-dxhr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 03:54:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19760065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smooshkin/pseuds/Kingmaker
Summary: A young David Sarif and his sister Natalie find out their father is dying. Pre-canon drabble.





	Δ you will, i know you will

**Author's Note:**

> I lost my dad (who's name also happens to be David) June 23rd. It gave me a lot to think about; Re-structured my value system and showed me how important some things are compared to others. Ultimately, it's changed my life for the better as his ideals and love guide me forward.
> 
> I like to meditate through David who holds a lot of my complex interpersonal feelings. The perspective change wasn't intended but I kept it because it reminds me of how I felt outside of myself when it all happened.
> 
> There's nothing like mom and dad.  
>  [x](https://open.spotify.com/track/4IyY0bqNeAj9xOYfm3fMas?si=07UvlFWyTtid7x3N7EZBlQ)

Natalie called last night. She hadn't called for a long time. Not since you started school. You knew something was wrong as soon as you saw her name.

Dad's not gonna make it, David. Doctor said... There's nothing we can do. 

Ah-..

"When can you be here..?"

...I'm on my way.

You'd been thinking about it for years. Maybe more the last few months. You didn't think you'd care, but isn't it strange how in just a moment, you suddenly care as if nothing's more important?

Natalie and mom moved him to hospice while you were on the plane. It's been a long day. Only Natalie is there when you arrive.

You avoid looking at dad and look at her. She moves to hug you and you'd forgotten what it felt like. You hold the back of her head and sigh, eyes flickering over to dad, who you can hear breathing and-

You're not sure why you were expecting him to be awake. You knew he was in a coma and yet the idea of him as anything else but full of energy--

Weightless, you approach, barely registering that Natalie lets you go. 

"Dad. I'm here."

The doctors like to say they can still hear you. Like sleeping when the TV is on and your dreams are flooded with voices.

"Your kids are here." David says again, not sure where to look. His face, his hands. How small he looks now...

The world fails to extend beyond the room and David reaches for his hand. Feverishly hot. 

The doctors say that's normal. As the... Brain fails to properly direct the blood.

"Oh, dad." David's lip tightens and he looks up from their hands.

He cries. You hear all that encouragement of not being sad. Don't depress them, etcetera. But it's no use. It's not about anyone else and there's no other way to keep full the hole that tears open in your heart, no matter how many times you imagine yourself here in this place and you're handling it well in your head. By the time it happens, you can't conceptualize it.

If only things had been different. He imagines if he'd graduated early. Started his business early. Maybe he could've-- 

He lifts dad's hand and presses his lips to the top. Then his cheek.

He's briefly aware of Natalie looking away from him.

David's eyes flicker tiredly to the floor near her feet.

It's really happening. This is it. 

You kept saying to yourself you'd call him tomorrow. Talk things over. Apologize.

This is what happens when tomorrow stops coming.


End file.
